Fame, fun, Adele, and the agility dream
Obviously, this sense of shame, this internal dialogue, is my own demon to exorcise. I like to be liked, and I’m pretty keenly aware of the agility masses watching, at this point. Overly so. And while starting down the path of dog agility in the first place, leaving my profession as a chemistry teacher, moving to another state, etc. etc., were a case of me following my bliss, I definitely have, at times, lost sight of who it is I want to BECOME. Who do I want to claim to have been, at the end of it all? At the end of a run, at the end of a show, at the end of my competitive career, at the end of a seminar, at the end of my life? These are my questions alone to answer.
For sure, though, I can tell when I’m following my bliss. I have been very, very, VERY fortunate to be able to follow my bliss. I am so grateful for ALL of my life. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. The sad, the happy. The tears, and the laughter. Maintaining a sense of gratitude can easily fall by the wayside if I don’t remain mindful to do so, but I think it’s probably the same for most of us. Attention must be paid to these things, or they get lost in the everyday grind of cooking, cleaning, relating, picking up dog poop, LIVING. But when I’m mindful, and when I’m paying attention, and when I’m evaluating if I’m following my bliss? It’s true:
I’m still not sure I can distill my values into just two or three core values, wrapped up in one word each. I’m going to keep working at it, because for the sake of staying mindful, and paying attention, I think having a few values to quickly and easily identify as guiding principles in my life will make it easier for me to separate the important from the unimportant, to remain focused on who I am, and who I want to become, who I *am* becoming, to deal with those criticisms that I need to ignore vs. take in the ones that can help me, really help me, on that track to becoming…to following my bliss. And to keep on in the pursuit of my bliss, even as others are watching me do it. Even as I stumble, sometimes spraying mud on those around me in the process. As I get up, over and over again, scrambling, now and again following my bliss with an easy grace, but mostly scrambling and flailing around.
Following one’s bliss is a bumpy, wild ride. And really, life is just too short, and too precious, to NOT, don’t you think?